Manipulation Series — Article 2 / 5

The Demonized Father and the Trauma of the Targeted Parent

The Dance of Three Shadows: A Jungian Interpretation

4. The Father’s Position: The Demonized Parent

In this dynamic, the father — or the targeted parent — is typically someone whose access to the child has been restricted, who is continuously disparaged, and about whom defamatory narratives are constructed. Research shows that parental alienation leads to intense grief, guilt, feelings of worthlessness, and anger in both the child and the targeted parent; the targeted parent often experiences prolonged psychological trauma [2].

4.1 The Father’s Shadow

Within the father’s shadow, two opposing extremes may emerge:

The Completely Withdrawn, Defeated, Internally Collapsing Father

1. Blames himself
2. Cannot set boundaries due to fear of losing the child
3. Feels alone and powerless in the search for justice

The Overly Aggressive, Explosive Father

1. Accumulated anger erupts uncontrollably
2. Destroys the mother’s character in front of the child
3. Unintentionally further traumatizes the child

From a Jungian perspective, the father’s shadow consists of a mixture of “helplessness + revenge fantasies + worthlessness.” If this shadow is not confronted, the individual becomes locked either in the role of the passive victim or the eruptive aggressor.

5. The Dance of Three Shadows: A Jungian Reading

When we interpret this family system through Jungian language, the shadow of each figure becomes clearer:

The Mother’s Shadow

1. Wound of abandonment, fear of not being loved, powerlessness
2. Deep worthlessness masked by the persona of the “good mother”
3. A possessive force that defines the child as “my extension, my side”

The Father’s Shadow

1. Feelings of inadequacy and failure as a parent
2. A polarized structure — sometimes suppressing anger and disappearing, sometimes exploding and destroying everything

The Child’s Shadow

1. Forbidden anger: “I hate you, but I cannot afford to lose you.”
2. Unregulated power fantasies — later attempting to control partners or dominate their own children
3. Deep guilt and the feeling of “I do not have the right to exist.”

Jung’s concept of the shadow suggests the following:

When the shadow is not confronted, the child carries it — and later transmits it to the next generation.

As the child grows up, they may unconsciously recreate the same triangular dynamic with their own child. Geography may change; the inner system remains the same.

References

1. [2] Verhaar, S., Matthewson, M., & Bentley, C. (2022). The impact of parental alienating behaviours on the mental health of adults alienated in childhood. Children (Basel), 9(4), 475.
2. [6] Harman, J. J., Leder-Elder, S., & Biringen, Z. (2019). Prevalence of adults who are the targets of parental alienating behaviors and their impact. Children and Youth Services Review, 106, 104471.
3. [7] Dariotis, J. K., et al. (2023). Parentification Vulnerability, Reactivity, Resilience, and Thriving. IJERPH.

Other Articles in the Series

1. Article 1 — The Dance of Three Shadows: Conceptual Framework and the Psychodynamics of Mother and Child
2. Article 3 — Who Does This Child Become? Intergenerational Transmission of the Shadow
3. Article 4 — The Bus Case: Concrete Scene Analysis (coming soon)
4. Article 5 — Manipulation Tactics: Conceptual Breakdown (coming soon)